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Sorry, No Customer Service After 4:00 P.M.Sorry, No Customer Service After 4:00 P.M.By David Leonhardt A few months ago, I wrote about ingenious styles of customer service that every business should know about, mostly because their employees were inflicting them on their customers. For instance, I warned about "in your face customer service" and "run for cover customer service", two equally effective opposites...like pouring too much sugar on your Cheerios one day, and pouring too much cayenne pepper on them the next. I also warned about "do-it-yourself-extortion", "consistent filibuster customer service", "Invisible Man customer service", "present-at-attendance customer service", "customer service on steroids", and "satirical customer service". You will have to read about these clever anti-sales pitches at: http://www.thehappyguy.com/customer-service.html , because today I want to tell you about a 100% revolutionary approach to customer service that my wife and I discovered in a village high up in the mountains. We were on our annual honeymoon, a three-day escape from parenthood to lick our wounds and give our tattered spirits a chance to recuperate. To tell the truth, the weekend was more like a marriage encounter. It gave me a chance to find out just who is that strange woman passing me in the hallway at full throttle, pinching her nose and radiating the sweet smell of mushy diaper as she whooshes past. And it gave her the chance to discover the even stranger man who blows a muffled "Oof!" every time Little Lady invents a new "Hop On Pop" dance move. Check-in at the fairly expensive Resort-on-the-Edge-of-Nowhere was 4:00 p.m., and it was made very clear that we would not be welcome until then. It's always an ominous sign when a resort begins by warning you when you will not be welcome, so we arrived at 4:00 p.m.. At 6:30 we stopped by the front desk on the way to dinner to request an additional pillow. Being in a sleep-related establishment in, we figured there would an off-chance that this request might be reasonable. Wrong. The desk clerk could not provide a pillow because the laundry department closed at 4:00, and he had no way of accessing anything that was not right at the desk, he told us with a deadpan face. "But we were not allowed to check in until 4:00 p.m.," I protested. At this point, Deadpan Clerk pulled from under the desk a box big enough to hold almost half a pillow, and started rummaging helpfully through it to see if he could find a pillow. He could not, he announced. In the hospitality business, folks should know how to treat people hospitably, or so I thought. If that were the case, I suppose I would never have written about Hotel Stella and the Wicked Witch of Lido ( http://www.thehappyguy.com/Hotel-Stella.html ) or about the paper-thin walls in many hotels these days ( http://www.thehappyguy.com/hotel-jokes.html ). OK, so the latter was largely fiction, a desperate search for a column topic, but the Hotel Stella torture story was 100% true. Back at the fairly expensive Resort-on-the-Edge-of-Nowhere, Deadpan Clerk proceeded to assure us that we were not the only ones he mistreated. Phew, what a relief! In fact, just a few minutes earlier a man had come looking for an iron for his wife (probably for his wife's dress, as men rarely iron their wives, but Deadpan Clerk never clarified that). He proudly related how he had explained to the man that irons were not available after 4:00 p.m., unless he had one in his magic little box. "But we were not allowed to check in until 4:00 p.m.," the man protested. He sent the man back to inform his wife that she will have to attend the dinner theatre in a dress looking like a prune (the dress, not the wife...at least, not that we were aware of). NOTE: Although no missing persons report has been filed, we did not see the man again. Deadpan Clerk was proudly informed us that he had sent the man away without an iron. Apparently we did not rank high enough to deserve even their very worst customer service. I should end this story on a happy note. But how? I escaped alive, along with the strange woman I pass every day in the hallway. It turns out she is my wife, go figure. And a most compassionate wife, too...she even helped Deadpan Clerk escape alive, too, at least until I return to the fairly expensive Resort-on-the-Edge-of-Nowhere. About the author: David Leonhardt is a humor columnist: http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/positive-thinking-free-ezine.html Read more satirical articles and funny stories: http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/humorarticles.html Read more personal growth articles: http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/self-actualization-articles.html Read more travel articles: http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/travel-articles.html Circulated by Article Emporium The Valencia Spain Fallas Nowadays Spain and especially Valencia is filled with tradition, and Las Fallas is the most popular and outstanding tradition in this marvellous city. It is a festival where everyone can participate whether you are from the local land, a foreigner who has chosen to spend some time there or ... What's So Special About A Cruise? What's so special about a cruise? That's easy, everything!!! If you haven't been on a cruise yet, than you are missing out on one of life's greatest adventures. Compared to any other form of vacation, a cruise offers the best travel value for your money. Your fare incl... Secret Resorts in Germany –- A Checklist to Find Them –- Part 4 of 4 Final Issue with the German Hotel Classification and the overall checklist To cut a long story short, here we go :-) --------------------------- German Hotel Classification --------------------------- A quite good indicator to select and find... What's So Special About A Cruise? What's so special about a cruise? That's easy, everything!!! If you haven't been on a cruise yet, than you are missing out on one of life's greatest adventures. Compared to any other form of vacation, a cruise offers the best travel value for your money. Your fare incl... Dancing With Whales We've all heard about whalewatching from boats or shore, and a few companies are now offering the possibility of actually swimming and snorkeling with whales in the wild. Is this a good thing? Some whalewatching operators in the Kingdom of Tonga, South Pacific islands, ad... Workouts That Travel A vacation can do wonders for reducing stress levels, but it can derail a healthy fitness regimen. Even some of the most die-hard exercisers find it difficult to stick with a workout program when away from home. Sure, many have good intentions. They may even pack their workout atti... Sorry, No Customer Service After 4:00 P.M. Sorry, No Customer Service After 4:00 P.M. By David Leonhardt A few months ago, I wrote about ingenious styles of customer service that every business should know about, mostly because their employees were inflicting them on their customers. For instance, I w... Palma—Alluring Spanish Isle For Travelers Summer time brings a Philippe Starck-designed hotel bringing Palma's Old Town back into the limelight. The capital of the Spanish island of Majorca it now overshadows the beach resorts. Palma ranks among most sought-after European weekend destinations partly due to the affordable ... Take a trip to malaysia For both air and car travel, avoid the crowds by traveling during the week, especially from Tuesday through Thursday. An added bonus is that airfares for travel Tuesday through Thursday are usually cheaper. Mid-morning and late afternoon flights tend to be less crowded, pl... Mossel Bay - A small harbour town with a lot of muscle! Named “Mossel Bay” by the famous Dutch navigator Paulus van Caerdon, whose crew consumed huge amounts of tasty molluscs after landing here in 1601. Today, this coastal town's famous muscles are prized by connoisseurs around the world, but Mossel Bay has other tasty treats just wait... An Introduction to Cigars Today Despite their similarities to cigarettes, cigars have long possessed a much more sophisticated persona. Though they have often been portrayed as accessories of the rich and powerful in years past, cigars have seen a much broader degree of mainstream popularity recently. Magazines... A Look at Bahamas Vacation Resorts - Bahamas vacation resorts are great places to look into if you are interested in finding many activities all in one spot. In addition to providing its guests with a place to sleep, resorts often feature such amenities as golf courses, tennis courts, restaurants, clubs, water activit... Playing Your Cards Right -- Traveling with Credit Cards Using credit cards while traveling is a good idea for a number of reasons: *You have a record of your expenditures for record-keeping and tax purposes (especially important if you travel for business). *You may get a better exchange rate when obtaining foreign curr... A Review of Inflatable Boat Manufacturers - There are many manufacturers of inflatable boats on the market today. Included below is an overview of each of the key manufacturers. Zodiac Inflatable Boats: Zodiac Inflatable Boats can be set up in no time, stored in a closet at home, transported in the trunk of the user... Take a Budget Mediterranean Cruise for your Honeymoon Taking a Mediterranean cruise is the dream of many people, especially for their honeymoon. Fortunately, if this has always been a dream of yours it is easier than ever to attain simply because there are so many yachts and cruise ships that focus on a honeymoon Mediterranean cruise ...
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